5 Ways to Build Your Toddler’s Self Esteem

Even toddlers can have self esteem issues. Between learning so many new skills and words and the “I do it myself!” phase, it can really wear down their self esteem when things don’t go right. My three-year-old kept saying “I can’t do it!” and gets frustrated easily.

Here are 5 ways you can build your toddler’s self esteem.

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1. Be a Role Model for Self Esteem

You’ve probably heard that kids learn what they live. So if you’re looking for a place to start helping your little one build positive self esteem and self value, then start with yourself as an example.

Be positive when you talk about yourself. Highlight your strengths because it’ll teach your toddler that it’s okay to be proud of their talents, skills and abilities.

Be careful not to talk negatively about yourself especially when it comes to body image. Most moms usually don’t think they’re supermodels. At best I’m a swamp monster unless I really put in some effort. But my 3-year-old thinks I’m beautiful. And I don’t want her to attach physical characteristics to self-worth. 

2. Give Honest Praise

Your toddler can really benefit from honest and positive praise. Find something about them to praise every day.

You can give your toddler a task you know they can complete. Then praise them for doing a good job after they’ve finished. Praise effort if they worked hard to do something but weren’t successful.

A lot of experts are now saying that our parents OVER-praised our efforts by telling us we were “the best in the world” or something else that is completely exaggerated. So be honest about your praise. Your toddler doesn’t have to be the absolute best. Just tell them you’re proud of the effort they put in and how you admire their creativity/skill/intelligence or something else about them.

3. Listen and Communicate

Communicate openly, honestly, and patiently with your toddler when they are feeling sad, angry, or disappointed. Listen to them without judging or criticizing.

They probably don’t fully understand why they feel the way they do. So talking about it with you may be exactly what they need to help them figure it out.

Suggest positive behaviors and options as solutions, and make sure to leave that door of communication open so they know the next time they feel badly, they can come to you for help and know that you won’t judge or punish them for how they’re feeling.

4. Teach Your Toddler about Goals

Teach your child the importance of setting goals and making a plan to complete that task. Even if it’s something simple like jumping over blocks in an obstacle course.

Start small.  Make sure that it’s an age appropriate goal for your child and not too complex. Your three year old isn’t probably going to learn how to cut out a circle right away. Practice cutting straight lines.

Tell them what a goal is and ask them to make one for whatever you’re doing. “What’s your goal?” Once they have a goal, ask them “What is your plan to reach your goal?” They may need help formulating a plan.

If the plan didn’t work, you can use that as a teaching moment to “try try try try it again” as Daniel Tiger says! lol Ask them what went wrong and how they can fix it. 

And don’t just  praise them when they meet their goal. Praise their accomplishments and effort while they’re working on it.

If they’re trying to do something specific like learning to ride a bike, find a book about it to keep them motivated.

Learn more about setting SMART goals with your kids here.

5. Say “I Love You”

It’s really important to tell your little one “I love you” multiple times every day. I know, you probably already do. It’s basically a habit for me.

Toddlers have a hard time figuring out emotions and feelings. Their own feelings are hard enough, but they’re also learning how to read other people’s emotions. You really need to tell your child how you are feeling in plain words. 

Telling your toddler that you love them even when they’re in trouble or when they are frustrated can really boost their self-esteem. They need to know that you love them no matter what. So reassure them every chance you get.

How do you boost your toddler’s self esteem?

Let me know in the comments below! Does your toddler get frustrated easily and yell “I can’t do it!”? Let me know how you’re dealing with it and how you boost their self esteem.

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