How to Have a Successful Toddler Playdate

If you’ve never had a toddler playdate before, it can be more stressful than you’d think.

Toddlers by themselves are unpredictable, and you’re going to put at least two of them together! They’re just learning how to socialize with others so they’re new at this.

Here are some tips on how to survive toddler playdates.

{This post was sponsored by Café Bustelo® as part of an Influence Central campaign and all opinions expressed in my post are my own.}

Choose a time and date that works for everyone

I’m sure this goes without saying, but when you have toddlers that are on different schedules and you throw in your own work schedules, there’s a lot of thought that goes into it.

Obviously, you need to plan it for a day or time none of the parents are working.

Luckily, my BFF is a stay at home mom so we usually do our playdates on Saturdays.

The husbands don’t usually join us, but sometimes they do. So when the boys are part of the playdate, we do it on Sundays when everyone is off work.

Toddlers have their own schedule, too. I’m sure you’re well aware of what happens when you mess with their schedule.

So find a time when both toddlers’ schedules sync up for playtime.

We have found that either right before or right after naptime works best for Toot and Minnow. At this point, they’re napping at around the same time.

But six or eight months ago, we would have a playdate after her first nap but before his first nap.

SNACKS for everyone

Toddlers always want snacks!

Make sure you have snacks on hand. Or stop at the store and get some on the way to your playdate.

We stopped at Meijer and got donuts for the kids and Café Bustelo® coffee for us. Ok, maybe we had some donuts, too.

We decided to do donuts because it was a treat (and we really wanted them).

You can always get a healthy snack like strawberries, apples, or grapes. Pretzels and crackers work, too.

Just make sure they’re easy to grab and not super messy. Toddlers are not exactly clean eaters.

Good coffee is essential

It doesn’t matter what time of day you plan your playdate. You’re going to need caffeine to keep up with your toddlers.

It’s nice to sip coffee and chat over the sounds of your toddlers pretending and banging toys together.

There’s just something about a cup of full-bodied coffee that relaxes you and kind of quiets the chaos around you.

Lower your expectations

Don’t go into it thinking you’ll have the best playdate, the kids will do several structured activities, they’ll share politely, and no one will be injured.

Expect the worst and hope for the best. They’re toddlers.

Also, lower your expectations for your playdate mom partner.

My BFF and I are super comfortable with each other to the point where we can be our true lazy selves.

We don’t expect each other to clean our houses, dress up in anything other than pajamas or leggings, or even have showered that day.

You might not be that close, but it’s probably a good idea to not worry about what your houses look like when the kids are just going to destroy them anyway.

Fun and (hopefully) learning to share are the overall goals

Your overall goal for the playdate is for the kids to have fun and socialize.

Playdates are also helpful for teaching how to share (especially when your kids don’t have siblings or go to daycare.)

But like I said, don’t expect them to get the whole sharing thing right away. It may take a few playdates for them to get the idea.

If you’re the visiting friend, bring a toy to share. This will allow the host toddler to feel better about sharing their toys.

We like to bring a new toy every time.

Open-ended play toys work best in this situation. (You know, toys that don’t just have one function and can be used along with imagination.)

This time we brought Toot’s coffee set so they could pretend to make coffee, too.

Keep it short and sweet

Planning a playdate can be like going to a buffet: you think you can handle more than you actually can.

For toddlers, two hours can be the end of the rope. So don’t plan a long playdate.

An hour or two is a good time limit for playdates.

Older toddlers might be able to handle three hours.

Plus, you’ll probably be exhausted after a couple of hours.

Try one structured activity or craft

I know I said don’t worry about structured activities, but you can always try one.

Just don’t expect it to turn out exactly like what you saw on Pinterest. Choose something simple and easy.

We did a cotton ball craft ghost that my BFF had set up for Toot and Minnow. They loved it but got glue everywhere!

The ghosts turned out to be cute and not a disaster! Hooray!

Here are some ideas for simple activities or crafts:

• Coloring
• Singing nursery rhymes
• Sticking pipe cleaners in a colander
• Gluing cotton balls to paper (like a ghost or sheep)
• Putting stickers on paper

Don’t panic if they hate the activity or completely ruin it. Just move on.

Only plan one, maybe two structured activities.

Most of the time, toddlers just want to do their own thing. Just having a friend to play with is new and interesting.

How do you measure a successful playdate?

1. No one got seriously injured.
2. The kids socialized and had fun.
3. The moms got to have an actual adult conversation and/or amazing coffee.

Bonus points: the kids shared their toys.

How do you survive a toddler playdate?

What are your go-to snacks and activities? Let me know in the comments below!

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