It’s hard to be a patient mom sometimes. Okay, most of the time. Especially when you have a toddler or a preschooler who is still learning to do things on their own but they HAVE to do it themselves.
Patience is a skill though. You just have to hone it. (Easier said than done, right?) Here are some tips to become a more patient mom.
Patient mothers have happier kids. If you’re more patient with them, they’ll be more patient with other people.
Life is so much easier when everyone gets along and isn’t in a rush.
Pretend that someone is watching you
Everyone’s behavior improves when they think they have an audience. You’re more likely to maintain your composure if you pretend that someone is watching you. (And judging you.)
It doesn’t always work though. There are times where I’ve exploded in public. I didn’t even care when real people were actually watching me. I just wanted to get my kid out of the Play Place.
But use the judgy moms to your advantage because it will help you stay calm and be more patient with your toddler.
Remember what it was like to be a kid
We forget that we were young at one time too. You’re more likely to keep your emotions in check if you can see things from your toddler’s perspective.
Your toddler is getting to a point where she wants to be more independent and do things for herself.
You forget that they don’t have control of most of their life. We tell them when do everything: eat, sleep, get in the car, everything.
So sometimes we need to remember to be patient and let them take their own coat off or let them eat when they’re hungry not just because it’s lunch time.
Take a minute for yourself
Sometimes the smartest move is to take a break for a few minutes.
Give yourself a chance to calm down and then come back to your little one. Just by taking a few minutes to yourself, you’ll be able to allow your child a little more grace.
Obviously, don’t just leave your child if you’re in public. You can hold their hand and just close your eyes for a second. Go to your happy place in your mind. (Mine is a swim up bar on a beach at a resort in Cancun.)
If you’re at home you can walk into another room for a second. Or even just turn around where you are.
Use the opportunity to teach your toddler a lesson
Toddlers are still learning how to be people. You’re the teacher, so use a challenging moment to teach her how to be patient.
Show your child what patience is like by demonstrating it. Talk about how being patient is a good thing and how they can be patient with other people.
We often talk about patience when we’re waiting in line at the store or in the drive thru. Toot is usually pretty good about waiting and being nice to the cashiers because she sees that I’m being patient.
Review the situation with yourself
After you’ve gotten the situation under control, mentally review how you could’ve handled it better.
Your patience will improve over time if you do this enough. Next time you’ll have a plan in place for when your toddler refuses to get out of the bathtub or won’t put her clothes on. (Because you know it’ll happen again.)
Keep your eye on the big picture
Toddlers are designed to be completely unreasonable.
As adults, most of us keep our behavior within certain limits because we’ve learned social norms.
Toddlers don’t have the same inhibitions. That’s why your 2 year old can flop on the floor of Target and scream bloody murder.
Count to 10 or take deep breaths
I know it sounds cliché. It does work though.
Focusing on your breathing or counting to 10 will shift your focus away from whatever’s making you mad (probably your toddler) and you’ll be able to calm yourself enough to keep from bursting into flames.
Be intentional about patience
Start your day with the intention of being a more patient person in general. Practice patience with everyone in every situation.
If you’re more patient with other people like your spouse, coworkers, boss, and cashiers, then you’re bound to be more patient with your child.
You can be an amazing mom if you’re intentional about patience.
Are you a patient mom of a toddler?
Do you know how to keep your cool or do you explode? Let me know in the comments below how you handle situations in a patient manner or how you could’ve handled a situation better.
Just remember, they won’t be little and unreasonable forever. This too shall pass.