Let’s face it, there are so many weird things that happen when you get pregnant. A lot the weird stuff happens to your body, but there are some socially weird things that happen too.
1. People You Barely Know Do Sex Math
Oh, you’re due May 5? Now Linda in accounts payable, Stephanie from the gym, and your Uncle Bob know that you had sex sometime in mid August.
Now that is kind of creepy, but it’s weirder if they know events around that time like your birthday or an anniversary. Or HEY, did you get pregnant AT my wedding???
Yeah, everyone just assumes that couples have sex, but it gets super weird when you know when.
2. Your Friends and Family Keep Giving You Cake
I had five baby showers. FIVE. Plus a gender reveal party and a sip and see party. I’m not complaining. We really enjoyed each party. But that’s a whole lotta cake!
I really was not expecting to have that many baby showers. But my friends wanted to throw one themselves. My office had one for me. My family is so big we split it into my dad’s side and my mom’s side. And my in-laws threw me a baby shower.
Even if you don’t have seven different parties for your new baby, people just hand you chocolates and cakes and things. They know that this is the one time in a woman’s life that it’s socially acceptable for her to eat as much as she wants. And you’re encouraged to eat whatever random craving you have. (Really, this should be socially acceptable all the time.)
The free cake and chocolate was probably one of my favorite things about being pregnant. My BFF, on the other hand, ended up with gestational diabetes and couldn’t eat the jelly beans she was craving.
3. Random Facebook Friends Are Suddenly Stalking You
Ok, I know this is true because I do it. I’m not ashamed of it. I just love when people I know have babies.
The second you post on Facebook that you’re pregnant, (or your wife/girlfriend/SO is pregnant) I’m going to be on your profile like a hawk looking for bumpdates, gender reveals, and what you’re naming your kid.
I don’t care if we had two classes together in high school and I haven’t seen you since we were 18. I’m super happy for you, and I can’t wait to see baby photos.
4. No One Lets You Carry Anything
I noticed this one immediately after I told people I was pregnant. My sister-in-law made my niece carry our Christmas presents out to the car, and I was like “I’m not even 8 weeks pregnant. It’s fine.”
My other sister-in-law was moving, and I wasn’t allowed to help. So I got to stand around and make jokes (which is my specialty.)
The second someone finds out you’re pregnant, boom. You’re fragile and you need to sit down.
It totally makes sense to not lift anything or carry anything too heavy when you’re more than 20 weeks along. But especially right in the beginning, you don’t feel any different. (Other than morning sickness stuff.)
I guess it’s not terrible that you’re being treated like the queen that you are. But still, sometimes it’s okay to say “I got this.”
5. Every Woman You Talk to Will Tell You Their Entire Birth Stories
Prepare yourself for every birth story ever.
Something about talking about pregnancy just brings out socially weird conversations. I’ve never talked about the human body more than when I was pregnant.
You’ll hear all kinds of birth stories from “back in my day, they just put you out and you woke up three days later with a kid,” to “I ALMOST DIED” to the most intimate anatomy details that you really just didn’t want to know.
It’s pretty cool in a weird way that you get to be in this big club of people who have gone through this huge life altering thing. Everyone’s initiation to the mom club is different, so why not hear all the gross details about how your cousin was born? (Or how your coworker had to have stitches on her perineum.)
What are some socially weird things that have happened to you when you were pregnant?
Let me know in the comments below! I’m always down for some socially awkward fun.
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