We’re supposed to be joyful around Christmas, right? Despite what’s going on in our lives we feel pressure to be jolly. But sometimes Christmas sucks. And that’s okay.
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Society puts a lot of pressure on us to put on a smile be “merry and bright” during the holidays. We’re magically supposed to be happy and in a good mood on Christmas no matter what’s going on in our lives.
Yes, you should hide your pain and sorrow and smile through the tears for your kids. Unless they’re going through the same thing. Then you should show them it’s okay to be sad sometimes. Daniel Tiger has a great book about being sad.
You don’t want to put a big rain cloud over Christmas for those around you. But let’s face it, sometimes life sucks. It’s hard to pretend to be cheerful when life sucks around Christmastime.
It’s perfectly fine to be sad around the holidays
If you’re recently lost a loved one and it’s your first Christmas without them, it’s perfectly normal and healthy to be sad. You miss them, and not being able to share such a wonderful time of the year with someone you love makes it harder to feel that Christmas joy. You might even feel a little guilty when something does make you smile. And that’s normal.
Maybe you lost your job a few weeks ago and can’t give your kids the gifts they’ve been asking Santa for. It can be disappointing and a struggle. Do your best to find inexpensive gifts your kids will love. Or you can DIY gifts if you’re crafty. Your kids will love you no matter what’s under the tree. But it’s understandable if you feel bad for not being able to afford the latest and greatest toys.
Maybe a relationship fell apart and you’re still trying to figure out what your life looks like right now. Changing family dynamics are rough especially around the holidays when there are lots of gathering logistics involved. Who goes to which party? It sucks.
A lot of different things can happen that will take away the joy of Christmas. And that’s okay.
Despite the picture Hallmark Christmas movies paint, our troubles don’t magically go away on Christmas Eve. We’re still broke, grieving, or feeling lost. And that’s okay. Life isn’t always going to be perfect. It’s messy, complicated, sad, and sometimes just plain sucks – even on Christmas.
My Best Advice for when Christmas Sucks
Don’t feel pressured to force yourself in a good mood just because it’s Christmas. There’s no need to be happy and cheerful 24/7 during the month of December. The whole holiday season can be really stressful.
Don’t expect to feel better all of sudden. Christmas is magical but it can’t magically cure everything.
Do your best to get through the holidays. Do what you need to do for your kids, and then go and cry or rage in a comfortable place. Be upset, be sad, or be angry. Feel what you need to feel to get through it. You need to feel your feelings to deal with them.
Get help. If you need help, ask. It can be hard to ask for help. Sometimes it helps to write it down or text someone rather than say it out loud.
Be specific with your request, too. If you just need some time away from the kids, ask someone to take your kids for the day. The house is a mess and you just can’t deal with it? Ask a friend if they can do your dishes. It’s okay to ask for help.
If you need professional counseling or medication to cope, that’s okay. Make the appointment. Take care of yourself.
Christmas Won’t Always Suck
Remember that things will get better over time and there are lots of good days and happy Christmases in the future. Remember the fun Christmases of the past and know that better times are yet to come.
Does Your Christmas Suck?
Let me know in the comments below.
Josh says
Going through a divorce with young children around the holidays really sucks. My soon to be ex spouse is a selfish greedy bitch. But she pretends to love our kids. This article needs to mention the human nature side of suffering that humans create due to our ugly human nature. I sometime wonder why we celebrate the birth of God when God has created a mankind that for the most part is pure evil.